Change.
This simple word triggers many
far-from-simple feelings inside most of us. There are often so many things we
would like to see changed in our lives, (be it psychologically, emotionally,
physically…), that it can be overwhelming and confusing to try and focus on any
one thing. If our goal is to feel more balanced and at peace in general, where
can we get specific in order to begin our personal process of change?
I want to share with you a simple tool that
may shed light on why you may be feeling stuck, by exposing where you may be
spending a disproportionate amount of your vital energy. This tool is based on
what Alfred Adler (one of the head honchos of modern psychology) called the
“Life Tasks,” which are basically the main aspects of humanity that, when
existing in harmony, create a sense of purpose and meaning in our lives. They
include: Work, Love, Social Living, Self, and Spirit.
This may sound simple, or perhaps some of
these tenets don’t quite resonate with you, but the point of sharing this
idea in this discussion about change is less about the tasks themselves, but
more about the balance of things that
we value and that cultivate a deep sense of meaning in us. One task is not more important than the others: only
when each portion of the wheel is balanced, can it turn smoothly. When we prioritize
our life tasks equally, we reap the benefits of feeling in harmony with
ourselves.
The way you use this tool is by first
acknowledging that you have a finite number of resources. You simply cannot
give 110% to all tasks. Conversely, it does not tend to serve us when we use
less than we are capable of, as these are the pillars of our sense of purpose,
after all.
Next, ask yourself how much vital energy
you put into each task. Vital energy is defined by you and will be different
for each person (e.g. a religious person may want to pray many times a day to
satisfy the spiritual life task, but an atheist may feel that going for a walk
in the forest satisfies a spiritual thirst). Now to put pen to paper: take away
or add a portion to each individual task in accordance with how much or how
little energy you put into each section. For example, if I spend most of my
time/energy on work, neglect time for social life and love, and give myself an
adequate amount of time for self-care and what I define as spiritual
activities, I would add a big chunk onto work, carve out a chunk on both social
life and love, and keep the boundary of the circle in tact for self and spirit. Using a pie analogy, this would create a big piece of pie for work... and a very small piece of pie for my social life and love life.
Go ahead and try this without worrying too
much about the exact amount of anything. What do you see? What does your
“circle” reflect? Where do you spend most of your time and energy? What areas
are left neglected? Where are you satisfied in your life? It is natural that
this shape cannot roll smoothly, so if your life task wheel is not balanced, it
makes a lot of sense why you may be feeling stuck, distraught or exhausted.
This tool is meant to show you visually
that it becomes extremely difficult for life to roll smoothly when the core
life tasks are out of balance. It is not meant to scare you or scorn you for
not having a life partner, the dream job or whatever other societal norms that pressure
us all. It simply indicates where in your life could use a little more of your caring
attention. Without self-judgment, but with self-compassion, this tool can help
you to see that making the changes you want to see in your life can sometimes
start with a redirection of your vital energy. Having one area overflowing and
the other left nearly empty would make anyone struggle to feel balanced and at
peace.
I encourage you to contemplate your wheel
and ask yourself how you may take from what is overflowing and channel it into
neglected areas in small ways. Courageous small shifts of your attention and
energy can help guide you on the path toward the change you want to see in your
life.
by Naomi Adams
Graduate Intern
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