Life Lessons From My Dog

In the last number of months, I’ve noticed myself running through my life, feeling busier and often more frantic than I ever have before. There have been many days lately that, as I’m working away on my computer or racing around getting ready for a long day of meetings, or classes, I have found myself longingly looking at my dog, and noticing how relaxed and perfectly content she looks. It’ll stop me dead in my tracks as I look at her with envy, lying on her bed and sleeping restfully. Because my flurry of activity will have abruptly stopped for me to look at her, she’ll wake up, gaze up at me lovingly to see what it is I want, and when I say nothing, she’ll put her head back down and gently close her eyes again. I will be left standing there, noticing how wonderful her life seems. I will shake my head and acknowledge to myself that it must be time for a vacation. And on I will run, through the day.

But these brief encounters with my dog have been happening more and more frequently lately and it’s got me thinking. What is it about her that is jarring me out of my flurry of mental activity for those brief moments? And what in the world do I have to be envious of in my dog? Here’s what I’ve come up with…

1) My dog absolutely loves her life and she expresses her love for it with abandon. I guess I have to admit that I have reached that certain point with obligations, responsibilities, and work, where my love for my life has begun to erode. And I can’t seem to walk past my dog anymore without noticing the stark contrast between my dog’s enthusiasm for life and my lack of it.

2) My dog loves her people, and everyone is her people. She is so happy to see each and every human being who walks through our front door and welcomes them like they are just the person she was hoping would come over. And she is delightedly engaged with anyone who will talk to her or pet her. You know, when I am busy, like I am right now, the last thing I want are people coming through my front door or phoning to shoot the breeze. Not nice.

3) My dog always gets her needs met. When she is tired, she just lays down and gets herself a little nap. And when she’s done, she wakes up and has a big old stretch that you just know feels good. When she’s thirsty, she finds water wherever she can get it (and I mean, wherever she can get it) and quenches her thirst until it’s gone. Sleep, stretching, sustenance…ah, these things seem so far away when I am over-the-top busy.

4) My dog doesn’t just enjoy going for walks, she lives for going for walks. The leisure, the exercise, the fresh air, the socializing with other dogs, the romping, the exploration of the same old ‘hood like she’s never seen it before, the claiming of territory (aka peeing on every tree and post) - these things give her meaning in life. I sometimes find myself questioning, why am I doing all this again? Where did the joy go?

I guess I have to admit that I am too busy. There. I’ve done it. I want what my dog has; a love for life, a desire to connect with people, the ability to get my needs met, and a joyful sense of purpose in life. And now that I’ve said this, I can make it happen. I am going to pluck out of my schedule what doesn’t need to be there, I am going to delegate a whole lot more, I am going to give my time to my friends and family (not to Youtube!), I am going to do again those things that make my spirit sing and give meaning to my life like gardening, running, reading novels. Thanks, Tilly, you’re a good dog!


Written by Devony Baugh
Graduate Intern at The Shanti Counselling Centre

Four-Step Priority Plan for Parents

Recently, someone sent me one of those annoying group emails, a “Four-Step Priority Plan for Mothers.” Having a couple kids myself, and often feeling like a chicken with my head cut off, I was somewhat intrigued. That is, until I saw who wrote it -- Dr. Phil. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes find him pat, insensitive, and/or completely predictable. I reluctantly perused the advice in the email, and much to my surprise, I really found the article to be helpful. If you are a parent (this stuff doesn’t just apply to moms) maybe you’ll find it interesting too. Here is his advice, modified a bit to accommodate all parents:

Four-Step Priority Plan for Parents

1. Get over the guilt

- Don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It’s not selfish to make yourself a priority.
- Redefine what it means to be a “good mother,” or a “good father,” or a “good aunt, uncle,
caretaker, step-parent, guardian, foster-parent...” Instead of using society’s definition, create
your own measure of success as a parent/step-parent/guardian.
- A good parent/step-parent/guardian is not one who only sacrifices; a good parent/step-
parent/guardian is also able to give of herself or himself. If you don’t have passion and
happiness in your own life, you can’t give it to your children.
- Give yourself permission to be more than half of a couple, more than “just” a mom or dad
or...

2. Make yourself a priority.

- Don’t confuse the quality and quantity of your time. They simply aren’t the same things.
Focus on the impact that your time does have, and give yourself the same attention you’d give
someone else you love.
- Don’t do everything for your children. They are able to do some tasks on their own. Take the
time to teach them how to do things for themselves.
- Learn the art of saying no, the ability to delegate and the capacity to accept help without
feeling guilty.

3. Discover your passions.

- Find something that you love to do. What gives you a sense of pride, accomplishment or
enjoyment?
- Think back to when you last felt this sort of passion. Now, ask yourself: “What would it take
to put that feeling back into my life? What can I do to recreate that feeling now?”
- When you’ve found your passion, make time for it in your regular schedule. Don’t allow
yourself to treat this “me time” as an option. It should be as important as anything else.


4. Gain the support of your family.

- This isn’t always easy, but it can be done. Let your family know how and why you need to do
things for yourself - so you can be a better parent/step-parent/guardian and ultimately, a
better person.
- Compromise with your family. Help them to understand that while things may change, you
won’t be abandoning them.



Written by Devony Baugh
Graduate Intern at The Shanti Counselling Centre